Mixed Feelings
by Rouge Deity
Summary: I honestly can not understand what I feel towards him. Even I can come to understand my mixed feelings of love and hatred. Contains Yaoi.


ai everyone! I'm back after a long period of trials and tribulations! To celebrate I'm going to type another Yaoi. This one includes Auden and his half brother Luke. This was before he and Aki even began a relationship, but you can see the little fluffs between the two. It will be only two chapters long I guarantee! Onward with the story!

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_Mixed Feelings_

_Chapter 1_

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It was the middle of January and the temperature only seemed to drop drastically everyday, it was close to exceeding freezing records, which means it would be the coldest day in history today, and Aki believed it seeing that even in some parts of town houses were left without heat or water.

He didn't like the way his budget had to stretch either, Auden ate like a bear before hibernation only to sleep for a few hours and eat again causing Aki to buy more than he usually would. Oh well, he really didn't mind anyway, its not like he had anything to spend the money on anyway.

He was carrying four large groceries bags, but the closer he got to home was the harder it became; not before long he dropped one of the bags, spilling the produce on the sidewalk. Aki sighed as he crouched down to gather them up. He was a little surprised that no one was even passing by to give him a hand.

"Excuse me, but do you need some help?" Aki looked up to see a man with long blond hair in a thin ponytail with red eyes wearing a buttoned down leather jacket, black pants with chains and black boots, he looked like one of those Visual Kei people.

"Oh no, I'm alright." Aki answered, he wanted to give himself a concussion, wasn't he just asking for help to the sky a moment ago?

"No I insist." he crouched down and helped Aki.

"Urhm, thank you. My house isn't far from here." he pointed his house out in the distance. Honestly how you could miss it, it did cover half of the block. The person took another bag from Aki, and he led the way.

"I feel a little selfish now." Aki mumbled.

"Selfish? Why do you say that?" Aki huffed.

"We just met and you're already carrying things to my house. I feel like such a bad person."

"You shouldn't, you did look like you needed help..." The person frowned slightly.

"What's wrong?" Aki asked.

"I don't really know what to address you by."

"Oh, right. My name is Akishima Fournier. However everyone calls me Aki for short, you can even stick a -chan or -Kun at the end, I don't mind."

"Aki-kun..." he repeated.

"So what's your name?" Aki asked.

"Luke Vel-" he seemed to trail off finishing his name.

"It's alright you don't have to say your full name Luke." he answered, on the way to his house Aki and Luke made small talk.

"Ah! Finally home. I wonder what Kirin cooked today!"

"Kirin?"

"Oh that's my younger sister, she's currently in the 7th grade, but can cook like a master chef." Luke took the other bags from Aki as he went into his bag for his keys.

"You really didn't have to help me Luke." Aki opened the door and took the bags from Luke.

"Well, since you helped me, why don't you come in, you can have a cup of tea, or stay for dinner." Luke shook his head.

"I don't want to be a bother."

"Not at all, my little sister loves it when people eat her cooking, it's pretty good." He grabbed Luke's hand and led him inside.

"Welcome home Aki-chan!" Kirin called from the kitchen, she had the table prepared for dinner and was already laying out the dishes. Kirin noticed Luke behind Aki.

"Aki? Who's that?"

"Oh, Kirin this is Luke, he helped me carry the groceries home. Do you mind if he joins us for dinner?" he asked. Kirin was practically glowing.

"Of course he can!" Kirin bounced towards Luke, "Nice to meet you Kei-kun! Are you in a famous band or something?"

"K-Kei...k-kun...?"

"Kirin, you can't go off giving people nicknames like that, not to mention assume things right off the back." Aki chided. Kirin frowned.

"Stop being a hypocrite! I know you thought the same thing!" she stuck her tongue out at him before returning to the kitchen. Aki stuck his tongue back out at her but stopped seeing how immature he was acting in front of a guest.

"As you can see my sister is a very... interesting... person." Aki stretched before calling Kirin again.

"Kirin, you know where Auden is?"

"He's in the shower. He'll be out when dinner starts." Aki nodded his head before guiding Luke to the table. Luke stared at everything on the table, he noticed Luke staring.

"I know what you're thinking, and yes she did cook all of this by herself." Aki crossed his arms, "It makes me wonder who's really taking care of who here." he shook his head.

"She must be a very good cook..." Luke said.

"You have no idea."

[Auden's POV]

_Since I usually sleep all day in my room, Kirin came in to wake me up saying dinner was ready almost. Knowing she is Aki's younger sister she forced me to go take a shower before Aki came home, she said I smelled! Can you believe it? I take that as an insult, we Fukkatsu do not smell, we smell pretty damn good for demons, and I am very impeccable about my hygiene...When I'm awake that is. So I went to take my shower._

_In the middle of it I heard the door open, Aki was home. To be honest that was the only thing that I looked forward everyday, him coming home. I was ready to whine to him about the things Kirin said, but knowing Aki he'd probably agree with his sister but I was still willing to give it a shot. After my shower I wore my usually black jeans and wrapped the towel around my neck, I'll dry my hair later._

_As I opened the bathroom door, I heard Kirin and Aki, but another person as well. Did Aki invite a friend over for dinner? Maybe that's why Kirin wanted me to bathe. I would love to meet a friend of Aki's, I hope they'd be just like Hidetoshi-san and give me the joy of knowing more things about Aki, probably even something embarrassing._

_"Come on Auden-chan! The dinner's getting cold!" Kirin shouted. I mumbled a few things under my breath walking to the living room; I take my sweet time if I want to Damnit._

_"We were going to start without you." Aki told me._

_"No you wouldn't." I cooed at him, I could see the slight blushed fade into his features._

_"Anyway, I invited someone over, his name is Luke. He helped me carry the groceries home."_

_Luke...Weird name he must be a foreigner._

_"Nice to meet you I'm Auden, Aki's-" I found myself lost for words seeing the person in front of me. Those looks looked all too familiar, the blond hair and the slender red eyes just set me off. There were some many emotions racking through me at the same time; sadness, happiness, anger._

[End POV]

Aki could feel the atmosphere going tense watching Aki and Luke stare at each other like deer in headlights. So he decided to break the ice.

"Do you guys know each other?"

"…" Silence.

"Auden-" Aki stared as he saw water fill Auden's eyes slowly. Aki didn't know what the cause was, was he not blinking or something? That's when the tears fell down his cheeks.

"Auden…" Luke spoke up.

"Why...?" Auden tilted his head to the side his hair shadowing his eyes he was biting his lip so hard that it began to bleed. He clenched his fists.

"Why are you here...?"

"Auden, listen..."

"I don't want to hear it!" With that Auden ran back into his bedroom almost slamming the door off its hinges.

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_Auden leaned against the door sliding down until he was in the fetal position. He buried his head in his knees._

_"Everything's coming back to haunt me…"_

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Aki frowned.

"I'm sorry about Auden, he usually isn't like this. I'll go get him." Luke grabbed Aki's hand pulling him down.

"Don't…"

"Why?"

"He doesn't want to see me, its fine." Aki knew something was up between the two of them, but this was strange, didn't they just meet eachother? That's when it hit him.

"You are related aren't you? " He asked Luke. Luke looked shocked at first but nodded slowly after.

"Half brothers… He's complete while I am incomplete."

"I never knew Auden had a brother. I mean I asked him questions about his family but he never really answered me."

"I don't blame him. " He stood up.

"Would you mind telling me where he is? Please. "He asked. Aki nodded before pointing out where Auden's room was; Luke knocked on the door.

"Auden…?" he turned the knob to see the door wasn't even locked. However, when the he entered the room Auden was gone, but his bedroom window was opened. Luke ran to the window and looked out but Auden was already out of sight…

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Auden marched through the snow as he climbed up a steep hill. His eyes were burning from the tears and cold air hitting his eyes, but he sat at the top of the hill anyway and looked down on the town, it looked so small and only seemed to disappear against the shining snowflakes that dressed the town in white.

The cold air against his face felt brutal so Auden wrapped his scarf tighter around him neck, "Maybe I should have thought about running off like I did..." he buried his head in his jacket. He was still upset with Luke. He looked up to see a shadow behind him.

"Luke-" Auden turned around to see something that he didn't want to. It was a Yamaboshi*, and an angry one at that, its bony exoskeleton was broken in several places. It glared at Aki with malice and bloodthirstiness. It was bleeding on its right side where the usually bones for it front paws would be but its femur bone was missing completely it's only standing in suspended animation.

What is a Yamoboshi doing here? This is not good, if it catches my scent...

Auden soon realized he spoke too soon when the Yamaboshi took steps towards him, he backed away far enough for it not to pick up his scent, yet it came closer. Auden kept himself at a distance until he felt his hand go out below him, he'd completely forgot he was on a steep hill and plummeted below, he encounter a few rocks but managed to avoid them hitting the bottom. He shook the snow off of him; he was shaking, his fingers were going numb and his arms were following suit.

"Grrr..."

"...!" The Yamaboshi levitated to towards him, baring it fangs hungrily.

_Damn it all…_

Fighting his stiffness he pulled himself out and headed in the direction of the forest. He found it was all in vain for every turn he took he could catch a glimpse of the creature behind him. He made his way into a clearing and fought himself just to keep going, but the energy was being sucked right out of him as the frostbite began to settle in.

"Shit…"he braced himself against a tree and stared at the Yamaboshi emerging from the shadows. He didn't want to die like this, like hell he would die like this. He straightened himself up and bared his fangs as well, his hair already standing on ends. The lilac in his eye faded to crimson red and their pupils slit.

"Graaahhh! " The Yamaboshi lunged at him; he avoided it just in time before it swung its paws which sliced the tree he was against, in half.

He jumped back leaning against another tree, he knew he wouldn't fair much longer into his condition. The Yamaboshi lunged again this time using its tail as a lance and drove it towards him; Auden felt his body work against him as the appendage plunged through his chest.

"Ahh…!" He coughed as the blood slowly filled his lungs, it hurt, but it wasn't enough to kill him even if it did pierce his heart.

That was it, he couldn't go on anymore, he watched as his blood changed the color of the snow around him. The Yamaboshi approached him slowly brining its fangs dangerously close to his jugular. Auden closed his eyes waiting for his impending doom.

The sound of crunching bones echoed through the forest. . .

[To Be Continued]

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Sorry for the cliffhanger! ; - ; Please do kill me for it, I love you all!


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